(h/t to truehoop)[After being held out of the game] I had to go home anyway to pick up a collared shirt and a sports jacket. It's about a 35 minute drive each way. On the way home I was listening to music and I started to calm down.
It was just me and my car ... speeding -- something that I shouldn't be doing.
Then I got that thought that I know everybody gets once in a while, I was like, "You know, what if I just ran my car into this pole right here?"
I don't know why I thought that, but I kept going with it.
"Then I can jump off the road into this lake and just swim ... or drown. Whichever one comes first."It was really devastating.
But I listened to Young Jeezy's verse in "They Know" to get me past those bad thoughts ... plus, I'm sane. I'm a sane person, I wouldn't do that to myself.
"Gilbert Arenas is Cool"
For those who don't know, Gilbert Arenas is an all-star point guard for the Washington Wizards. As of this writing, he is out with a knee injury that has sidelined him for most of the season. He still updates his nba.com blog, however, which is a consistently entertaining read about the life of a superstar athlete. His latest blog explores his frustration with not yet being cleared to play by the team despite his knee feeling healthy. He expresses a thought that I've had many times while behind the wheel of a car, and then uses the music he listens to as a way to reflect on his thinking.